Questioning College

      I'd like to know at what point we're going to stop telling our children that they need to "go to college to get a good job," and instead start telling them the truth.  The sad truth has become that these days, you have to go to college to get almost any job, or advance past a certain point in any field, and the "college experience" has become more and more expensive with each passing year.
I went to college after graduating high school because that's what I was told I should do to "get a good job," but after two and a half years there, I took time off because, in addition to dealing with crippling depression, I had no idea what the hell I was in school for.
I went in to college hoping to learn new, important life lessons and ways of achieving my hopes and dreams. Instead, I was forced to take courses in subjects completely irrelevant to anything I was interested in, as well as courses that had nothing they could actually teach me that I was not previously capable of doing.
When I questioned my ability to perhaps test out of courses that I felt I had already mastered, I was curtly informed that there was no way to do such a thing, and that I simply had to endure the courses for what they were.
I wanted to believe that there was something more to be learned in these basics that I was being re-taught again for yet another time in my life, but when I sat down with one teacher, she told me that with the skills I possessed, there was nothing she could teach me in her class.
I was floored.  How could it be possible that after how much money I was paying to be at this college, and how I had been assured that this was 'for my own good' that I attend these basic classes and learn all these things that I surely did not know, I had someone telling me what I'd ascertained all along. I already had all these basics, and I was being forced in to taking these needless credits for no good reason, except the only one I could establish.  The college was forcing me to take these classes, regardless of my own ability, to increase their overall income.
Why did they not have a way to establish the level at which each individual student was operating?  Even if there was an extensive test that I had to pay a certain amount to take, in order to prove where I should be in terms of advancing toward my degree, I would have been willing to do so.      There was no such thing, however, and I strongly believe that this feeling of hopeless resignation and despair lent itself to the debilitating depression that I experienced, ultimately leading me to take time off of college to figure out what it was that I needed to do.
It's been 5 years since I stopped going to college to figure everything out, and in that time, I got married, I've moved several times, I've continued work as a waitress and a bartender, and I've struggled to get by on money... The reason?  As of now, 5 years down the road, I still have almost $15,000 in outstanding student loans, and I have been paying on them the whole time; hundreds of dollars a month toward pointless credits I achieved at a university that cared more about how much money it could wring out of me than how much I was learning.
The establishment that I went to, I hesitate to call a college, because to me, and I feel like to most, the word 'college' implies a place of learning.  I went to place that was a business, and their merchandise was perfunctory information in return for being paid incredibly handsomely on money that was not even mine in the first place.
I've resigned myself to the fact that most businesses require a college degree to even call back for an interview, much less actually give a job, but I find that I have many friends that have acquired their expensive piece of paper, called a "degree," and yet they still have positions equal to myself in the customer service and retail industry because no one will hire them without experience.
Here is where we enter a point that gives me some sort of morbid amusement, a sick joke on those that finally achieved their sought after college degrees.  I say it provides me with a twisted sort of amusement simply because as I sit back now without my degree, and while I am in debt, it's moderately less than it could have been, had I continued to do what I was  'supposed to.'
All of these young people have been told 'go to college, get your degree so that you can get a decent job,'  but now that they have graduated?  The job market in inundated, flooded, with hundreds of thousands of young people who believed the lie they were told.  They bought it hook, line, and sinker.  Now they're stuck paying back tens of thousands of dollars while they apply for jobs that respond with 'sorry, you need more job experience before we'll consider you.'  How are they ever supposed to get job experience when no one will hire anyone without job experience?!
My husband and I, we are swimming, drowning, in debt, because he bought the lie, too.   He went to school, and he excelled.  He graduated with his bachelor's degree in economics in just 3 years, and immediately went on to graduate school where he graduated with his master's degree in public policy with a focus on economic development in just another 2 years.  My husband has a master's degree, and he works in a hotel where he makes $11 an hour.  No one will give him a second look because, regardless of the fact that he has this expensive piece of paper that states the schooling he had, and his abilities, he doesn't have enough experience in fields that are considered 'relevant.'  It doesn't matter to them that he has his degrees, nor that he is incredibly intelligent, driven, and capable of doing any tasks set down before him.
I am much the same in that I am intelligent, driven, and capable.  If you are able to teach me what you want, I can do it.  It's as simple as that.  I'm just as intelligent as most of the people I know that have a degree, I am merely less in debt and unpossessing of that incredibly expensive piece of paper.
Now I wait for all of you that tell me I should have finished college, just to do it so that I had a degree, to go out in the world and do what I wanted.  Though I do understand that mindset, that's what has led to what's occurring now.  Thousands of people with no idea what they want to do, jobs that won't hire people without experience in relevant fields that they can't get jobs in without experience, and then there's me.
I wish I were capable of feeding in to the lie.  I wish I had had the capability of finishing my college degree just so I could say I 'accomplished' this thing, but at this point, I'd like someone to take me at the merit of my person and my intelligence, and to give me the opportunity to prove that even though I don't have a degree, that doesn't make me worth any less.

(Another) End of a Golden Age?

    By Rachael 'Liltalen'

      "We're going to do it this split."
     "It's a Golden Age, boys..."
     Counter Logic Gaming (CLG) started the spring split off strong this year.  Their first game against against Team 8 found them down ZionSpartan, and yet not only did Doublelift manage to pick up first blood, but CLG slowly gained ground and took a convincing victory after just over 34 minutes.
     Week 1 day 2 saw CLG up against Team Liquid (TL).  Liquid took the lead early and maintained it strongly throughout the game, managing to force CLG back at every turn and eventually destroying the CLG nexus.  It wasn't a tragedy though, it was just the beginning of the split and everyone was still figuring everything out, right?
     From there, CLG held on strong.  Week 2 found them defeating Team Impulse (TiP) and decimating Cloud 9 (C9) on the Rift.  Week 3, they wiped out Winterfox (WFX) and crushed Gravity (GV).
     Coming in to week 4, CLG was tied with TSM for first place, and even though they managed to take down Team Coast (CST) on day 1, day 2 was yet to come.
     In a widely hyped grudge match, CLG took on their rival TSM in grand brawl on summoner's rift.  Bets between team owners were made, fans were hyped beyond measure, and the teams were both well aware of the pressure.  For the first 35 minutes, CLG were solidly in the driver's seat, pressuring the map, out-rotating TSM, and taking objectives easily.  Then, just after 36 minutes, up 4 dragons to none, and with an almost seven thousand gold lead, CLG fans had their first inkling of trouble.
     With Dyrus as Sion off to the side being zoned away from his team, Link cast Glacial Path, and took the claw in to the middle of 3 members of TSM, and cast Frozen Tomb on himself, and managed to miss everyone with it.  As soon as Frozen Tomb ended, so did Link's life, along with Xmithie's and Doublelift's.
     That team fight was the turn in the game.  Suddenly TSM flicked the switch, and roared back, the fight in them renewed; ready to take on the to-this-point unstoppable juggernaut of CLG,and fight back they did.  Less than 10 minutes after the crucial team fight that turned the tide, TSM stormed in to CLG's base and ended the game decisively.  Jokes were made, HotShotGG's hair was dyed pink, and CLG fans went "We'll get 'em next time."
     The next week, fans were unsure, but CLG proceeded to destroy Team Dignitas (DIG) in their first match up, though they lost the spring split's rematch to C9 on day two due to C9's superior map rotations and ward control.
     From there on, week 7 saw C9 tied for second with CLG, but CLG managed to solidify second as their own in the following two weeks.  Then, a small tragedy for CLG fans.  CLG lost their final game to TiP, while C9 managed to triumph against the titan TSM, resulting in a tie breaker match between C9 and CLG.
     In the tiebreaker match, C9 slowly and methodically took control and wore CLG down.  In the end, Doublelift's Vayne just couldn't stand up to the monstrous Draven that Sneaky brought on to the Rift, and C9 secured the second seed spot, and the bye, in to the semi-finals.
    "That's fine," said CLG fans, "We don't need the bye.  Look!  We're up against Team Liquid.  We'll get some practice in, we'll roll right through the shaky looking team that barely squeaked in to playoffs and we'll get our rematch against Cloud 9.  We've seen how they play now, and we can definitely beat them in a best of 5 series."  Looking ahead to the semi-finals, CLG fans remained blissfully unaware of their impending heartbreak.  It was a golden age for CLG, surely the 6th seed Liquid couldn't stop them now!
     Game 1 of the Golden Age: Team Liquid vs Counter Logic Gaming, the drafts came in, the teams loaded on to Summoner's Rift, and from there, initially it looked good for CLG.  Solid rotation, good back and forth, CLG employing their 1-3-1 split push to pressure all over the map.  Then, disaster in the form of Doublelift, Aphromoo, and Link going down simultaneously in the bottom lane, greedily staying too long to push down that inhibitor turret.
     Suddenly, with all that damage gone, Liquid had the ability to quickly take Baron, and from there, return pressure all over the map and eventually push in to win the game.
     There was a poignant pause and a deep breath from CLG fans, as last year's playoffs flashed through their minds, but of course, there was no way that would happen, right?  CLG had looked so good this split, and TL had struggled so hard.  There was no way.  It was their Golden Age.  It was just a fluke, and CLG would come out and own the rift in Game 2.
     Game 2 started, and initially CLG looked good.  Then Liquid started applying the pressure, and not in a small way.  CLG was on the back foot, trying desperately to claw their way back uphill.  The tweets of "Easy 3-0 #CLGWIN" slowed to a halt, the people that had been saying this suddenly wary of the Season 3 World Champion Piglet, and the true potential he brought to the table.
     It was all well and good to say Doublelift was better than Piglet when that's what all the statistics pointed to, but apparently when Piglet decided enough was enough, it was time for Liquid to throw down the gauntlet.  Game 2 went decisively to Team Liquid.
     CLG fans were reliving their worst nightmares from the 2014 summer split playoffs, as CLG sat 0-2, playing game 3 in a best of 5 series with a baron buffed Team Curse killing them on the fountain as they took everything.
     It was time for game 3, and everyone was wondering the same thing; was CLG going to make a miraculous comeback?  Surely they were... they had to... right?
     Game 3 was the biggest disappointment yet for fans of CLG.  On this particular incarnation of Summoner's Rift, Piglet was King, and all others fell before him.  It was no contest and the game was over at slightly more than 30 minutes.
     The looks on the faces of CLG after the game were downright devastated.  How could everything so right go so, so wrong?  They'd been strong all split, poised to take on Cloud 9 and Team SoloMid as major contenders in the NA region, and then just like that, they were done?  To say the team seemed disheartened at the end of the 0-3 sweep would be an understatement.
     After the games, HotShotGG tweeted out, "... Changes need to be made and they will be made..." as well as, "We will sit down and discuss as a team what went wrong and what we need to focus on."
     One thing is for sure, CLG fans want to know, when will the Golden Age come for Counter Logic Gaming?

Article written 4/5/2015

The Pressure on Piglet

By Rachael 'Liltalen' 

When fans found out that Chae "Piglet" Gwang-jin was coming to North America to play, the hype was insane.  Piglet, formerly of the World Champions SKT Telecom T1 K (SKT T1), is well known for his on-point mechanics and his defensive, hard carry ways, particularly on his well-known comfort pick, Vayne.
SKT T1 picked up Piglet, and he joined the main team in February of 2013.  From there on, most of us know the story.  Working side by side with his mid-laner, Lee "Faker" Sang-hyeok, SKT T1 operated as a well oiled machine as one by one, teams fell before the two carries and together with PoohManDu, Bengi, & Impact, they crushed their final opponents Star Horn Royal Club in a convincing 3-0 series to win the Season 3 World Championship.
At the end of season 3, Piglet was considered the best AD carry in the world, but after their victory, the team seemed to slowly fall apart.  PoohManDu stepped down for a short time due to health reasons, and upon his return did not appear to bring the same high caliber of play he had once demonstrated.  The team struggled, and among others, the decision was made to bring Bae "Bang" Jun-sik in from SKT T1's sister team as the new AD carry.
Piglet was pushed to the side, and while he continued to practice diligently in hopes that another team would pick him up, the sad fact of the matter was that none of the other teams in the region were in need of a new AD carry.  Eventually, Piglet accepted an offer from Team Curse (who would shortly thereafter re-brand to Team Liquid) to duo in their bot lane as their AD carry alongside Alex "Xpecial" Chu.
Well known for his aggressive play-style, Xpecial was widely hyped by fans as the perfect support for Piglet.  Together, with their superb mechanical prowess and dedication to the team, the bottom lane of Team Liquid would be unstoppable.  When Piglet played for the first time in the North American region in week two, however, it wasn't as show stopping as fans might have hoped.
The lack of masteries (0/0/0) may very well have affected Piglet's early game, but the pressure and expectations riding on Piglet's shoulders, as well as the rest of the team, might have had something to do with the first loss.  Team Liquid hadn't even had much time to practice & scrim together with the recently arrived Piglet, and yet the fans were all aboard the Piglet hype train as Team Liquid took on Cloud 9.  It's enough to stress anyone out.
Game two, masteries on, went only slightly better, as Team SoloMid (TSM) had a stronger early game, managing to bully Piglet's Caitlin, starving her of desperately needed farm as WildTurtle rotated the map beautifully while Bjergsen, on Xerath, kept FeniX's Ahri at bay in mid.  The second loss hit the team hard.
From there, it's been a lukewarm performance from Team Liquid. There have been many factors that have attributed to this, particularly that it's hard to communicate with your team when you're still learning the language in which the rest of your team communicates.  Piglet is in a new country, learning a new language, and playing with a new team.  All those changes are sure to take their toll.
Keeping all those things in mind, however, at the end of week 4, Team Liquid made an announcement.
"Dear Liquid fans,
We have come to a very difficult decision that we hope will lead to better performance. We have decided that it would be best to have Piglet sit out for week five of the North American LCS. Our substitute player, KeithmcBrief, will move to the starting roster. 
This decision was not made lightly. There have been ongoing issues during scrims/training that have resulted in a poor team dynamic. Our staff and players have put in a lot of effort toward improving the situation, but unfortunately we have not made as much progress as we would have hoped. We understand that this is not easy for Piglet, and we will continue to do everything we can to resolve the issues at hand so that he can return to the LCS in the future. But at present, this decision is in the best interest of the team.  -Peter Zhang, Head Coach"
Just like that, a World Champion AD carry was left on the bench as Team Liquid brought in their substitute player.
Week 5 has seemingly brought only more pain for Liquid.  While it did seem that the team was perhaps a bit more cohesive in their movements and team fight, ultimately Keith delivered no more than Piglet might have.  The team lost their first game against Winterfox (WFX) and won their second against TSM.
The victory against TSM, however, was a struggle, to say the least.  In a battle that lasted just over 53 minutes, Liquid beat TSM back into their base, where TSM made their heroic last stand over and over again.  It took Team Liquid 2 Baron buffs, 3 Aspect of the Dragon buffs, and 7 inhibitors to take down TSM.  TSM stood their ground with 2 Nexus turrets down for almost 9 minutes, and if that's what it takes for Liquid to close out a game, to say we're worried for them would be an understatement.
Team Liquid are now 5-5 in the spring split, and have just announced their intent to keep Keith in for week 6.  We can only speculate at what this will do to Piglet, much less the rest of the team, as Liquid now struggles to harness their true potential, and fans everywhere speculate on the future of Team Liquid and their world class AD carry, Piglet.

Article written 2/24/2015

Why I Game

  Imagine this; you're creeping slowly and silently through the brush, unseen by your enemy.  You crouch at the edge, peering out as she creeps ever closer, butchering  minions, unaware of the true danger that lurks as she steps ever closer.  Your ears twitch, your legs bunch, and, in a soundless surge, you launch yourself from the thicket at your hapless opponent.  She only has time to turn away, another arrow not even yet drawn to her bow, as you dash around her, eliminating her in mere milliseconds.  Your team cheers from the battlefield, and they group up around you to make the final push against the villains that dare stand against you.
     Can you feel that?  That thrill racing through you at the thought of you, standing victorious, your enemies laid at your feet?
     Worldwide, we are putting literally billions of hours in to gaming.  As of January last year, Riot Games stated that 27 million people logged in daily to play their multiplayer online battle arena game League of Legends, which is my game of choice.  I can say honestly that I log in nearly every day to play at least one match, if not more.  I follow League of Legend's eSports avidly, and hope one day to work side by side this community of gamers that I so respect and admire.
     There's nothing more satisfying than having an in depth conversation with someone about something you're passionate about, and for me, there's nothing more exciting than the world of LoL eSports.  Last year at the world finals, 40,000 fans sold out Seoul's World Cup Stadium, and millions watched online as Samsung White took on Star Horn Royal Club for the Summoner's Cup and the right to claim the title of World Champions.  There were clutch escapes, battles for vision, and massively cinematic battles across the whole of Summoner's Rift.
     I feel like a common misconception of gamers and people who socialize online is that they are incapable of socializing in the 'real world,' and thus they resort to the virtual world.  In reality, however, there are so many people interacting virtually now that it's hardly the ragtag group of social misfits that so many people seem to believe.
     I game and socialize online because I enjoy my interactions in game (for the most part).  It's not that I can't or won't talk to people normally, but I find it so much more satisfying to connect with people that I know definitively share an interest with me.
     I game because in the virtual world, no one judges me by the standards of reality, but by the standards of the game and the competition as our teams clash on the Rift.
     It's not just League of Legends, though; it's all video games.  I can travel across time and space, into alternate realities.  I get to be the hero and the villain; the warrior victorious and the damsel in distress.  I can battle an oncoming horde, face off with dragons, lead armies, or steal the ancient relic from the enemy stronghold.
     I spend time online, not because I don't want to live my life or associate with people, but because I want to live many lives, and connect with people worldwide that share my passions.

Mercurial

  Oftentimes, it's hard for me to explain myself to others.  I am so complex, even to myself.  Most of the time, I am two completely opposing forces of nature; the immobile rock and the raging hurricane, the predator and the prey, the hero and the villain.  And it's not as though I'm one thing at a given time.  I am all things in the universe at once, my brain going every, single, possible direction simultaneously as I struggle to contain, to leash, to cage the bits that I know should never be let out to play.
  I am the Valkyrie; the bright and shining warrior goddess.
  I am the Trickster; the sneaking, mischievous miscreant with a quick wit and a sly smirk.
  I am the Seductress; the slinking, red-clad siren that can stun with a sidelong glance and a crooked finger.
  I am everything that I ever was, am, and ever shall be.  I have the capacity for so much greatness, and so much darkness, in me as one.  Sometimes I feel it will tear me apart, and sometimes I think I see so much more in this beautiful, terrible world for it.

Introspection

     I took a walk today, down into the shadowed woods, and along the dark, cold stream. The sky was a dreary gray, and the puffy, low-hanging clouds promised rain at any time.  I came to the edge of a tranquil pond, and I saw her, there across the water.
     My heart ached, she was so beautiful. I took a hesitant step toward her as she took an aggressive step toward me, and we froze, studying one another.
     She was everything I hoped to be, and I couldn't tear my eyes away.  She radiated powerful grace, feral beauty, and untamed spirit. She cared not what the world thought of her, only what thoughts she had of the world, for what else could matter?
     She was confident, decisive, and so absolutely free, how could I not covet what she had?
     She studied me as I studied her, and I could but wonder what she thought she saw.
     The first rain drops began to fall, and I lost sight of her as the ripples spread across the once still water, but... I was her, and she was me... and together, we were beautiful.

Warrior

  I used to be like you, once... Did you know that?  Slithering about in the ocean of shadows and sorrow; clawing at everything with all the rest?  I swam in the muck and I drifted in ignominy and indifference, trying so hard to be like all the rest.
It was so damn hard for me to be like you.  Do you know how hard I had to work to be like all the rest? To covet what they did? To abase myself and crawl, all the while watching it all with a sort of detached disinterest?  I struggled each day to find a reason to continue, and each day, I found none. How could I?
Then one day, I dragged myself out of that shadowed sea of darkness, pulling myself up on to the shore, dripping the filth from my body... caught in a penumbra between worlds... I was so tired.  The sun dried my wings though, and I fanned them curiously. They were bright, shining things that I'd not noticed before, caught in shadow.
Free from the darkness, I examined myself in the reflection of a pool of clear water, looked in to my heart, and what I found startled me.  I was a Valkyrie; a warrior goddess, and I had been all along.  I had allowed them to drag me down, to strip me of my power, and in my despair, I found myself unworthy of the world.
Now, I realized a shocking truth: I was more than worthy, and I would crawl and scrape no more. I was a Goddess, a valiant warrior, and I would no longer be pulled down in to shadow.
My light is so bright; look for me, and you will find me... I am here.  All you need do is reach out to me.  I will sear the darkness from your soul, and you will know peace and joy in my presence, and in your own.  For you, you are so gloriously beautiful, too.